maybe i should just not have friends

khoulaid:

I’m not going to go off and flirt with others, every time we fight. I’m not going to be looking for someone else every single time something seems to happen between us. Why would I? It’s just a little fight, it’s nothing but that. Don’t assume I’ll be off, doing something else, and not thinking of you. What your head is telling you, is complete bullshit. I’m not wandering off, I’m not going to just leave you. 

You mean more to me, than a lot of things. Don’t think I’m just going to let you go, because I won’t be the one leaving you.

(Source: khounstipated)

khoulaid:

Don’t tell me to go flirt with someone else. Don’t tell me to talk to someone else. It’s like you don’t, and wouldn’t even care if someone else were to try to get me. It’s like you wouldn’t even care if I left, in which I know I won’t. Is it satisfying to say it, or what? Please, do tell. I’m wondering, and you’re not telling me anything. You’re so difficult to read, and hard to manage with.

But even with the difficulties I have with you, don’t expect me to just leave you, like what we have is nothing.

(Source: khounstipated)

khoulaid:

It always seems to be my fault, that something is wrong. Whether it be why my mom is mad, or why my family is all rustled, or even why I feel like shit. Usually I feel like shit, because I actually convinced myself that I’m doing something wrong, and I can’t manage to do anything correct. Once I get things going well, it always seems to come speeding down like a meteor heading for hell. Managing NOT to fuck up, seems almost impossible.

That’s me, that person who just seems to screw everything up, that was once going well. That little fuck up.

(Source: khounstipated)

everything just hurts.

i honestly just feel like crying right now idk why but i do

but I’ve bawled enough already.

no need to cry over stupid shit over and over again.

i’m such a little bitch.

I don’t look forward to anything else anymore. I don’t see my friends as often, and hell, I don’t even know if I can call them friends anymore. They most likely don’t see me as theirs anymore, due to my absence. It’s a little sad that it’s not the same anymore, but who am I to blame? No one but myself. I’ve secluded myself from so many people, and I’ve limited my conversations with others as well. I stop responding, and I continue doing whatever else I was doing before that. It’s like people don’t really matter to me that much anymore. I may talk to them sometimes, and say some things other times, but in reality, it’s probably some empty conversation.

Yeah, it’s like that now. I’ve gotten acquainted to it now. I’m okay with it now.

i feel like such a shitty person

such a shitty friend

girlfriend

and best friend. 

le sigh